Evolution

I feel in my chest the insistent push of God

Desperate, I grasp for the hand that steals my breath
but wrapped in flesh I cannot,
for it lives beneath the surface of waters where I tread,
only thinking I want what it offers,
while denying what it demands.

Wrestling shadows, chasing figments
Like a child hanging faith on the wings of a pinwheel

Until…
The spinning stops
and I can hear
the flutter of my breath.
beating against God’s door…

Slowly, ever slowly,
I seep through fissures carved into the hard shell of longing,
from dense matter to fluid form, sliding over boulders of want,
through chasms of fear.
Moving deeper…beyond skin, past thought
Leaving behind all matter and mind
Into and out of awareness
to the very heart of darkness
where no-thing dwells.

Color moving backwards into blackness
Being leaping forward into oneness
Floating in the realm of the Eternal
A memory of Home.

Suddenly pushed outside the Silence,
A single pinlight explodes
Carrying me home…

Made anew, I return
to dwell in the center of the cross,
consummation of Heaven and Earth,
evolution’s pilgrim…

I feel in the center of my chest, the insistent presence of God.